14 hours…. really

Well over the past few days I have learned that even though the doctor said that I may not feel the effects compound throughout my treatment that is not the case for me.  I decided yesterday to listen to my body and rest when I needed to.  It seems that my best day is the day after treatment but the worst are the next 3 days.  I spent 14 hours in bed yesterday and I feel so guilty about it!  I am just so tired and my bones hurt so bad.  I know that the medicine I am taking for my white blood cell count is working because I hurt so much.  The medicine works to push more white blood cells out of my bone marrow but the side effect is that my bones hurt and they hurt a lot!  Mainly in the large bones like my femur or hips so it hurts to get up and walk a lot!!!  The doctor did give me pain meds but they just make me so tired and out of it, I hate to take them at all.

I get sad when I have to rest so much because I hate to have to have my kids and hubby see me like this and I hate not being able to do anything and have to have things done for me.  I get sad that I can't be the mom that can help with homework, or work on projects or get my kids to and from practice and games and have to depend so much on others.  Peter is and has been so amazing throughout this whole process and I don't know what I would do with out him!  Some of you may know this song but I thought I would put the link in just in case, it hits very close to home for me!

  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6iyU4S7yHFo

Next week is my last week with no treatment until mid-February and I am trying to plan as many things as I can but don't know if I will be able to do it all.  I just want to get things done before I have to start treatment every week.  With the holidays coming up I am trying to get as much shopping done as I can because I just don't know what I will be able to do.  I just want to keep things as "normal" as I can!

We are winding down with football for the boys so at least that will be one thing off the activity list starting next week.  However baseball, volleyball and basketball will be starting soon so it will be short lived I'm sure.  I can only hope and pray that the next cocktail will not be as hard on me and I can begin to be a mom again.

As always thank you for all the love and support!  Love to you all!