
I do have fear of recurrence but it does not consume me. I have no control over if it comes back much like I had no control over getting it in the first place. I can't let myself live in that place of fear and worry. It is just not productive for me or anyone around me, especially my kids. They need to see that I have beat this and that I am going to be okay. To be honest it is just not me to focus on the negative and borrow worries. I was taught long ago that I should not worry about things I can't control and this is just one of those things. I can only deal with what is actually in front of me and as of now I "had" cancer but it NEVER had me!

I have not been blogging that much about the reconstruction process, it is just too personal I guess. Something that is so visual just kind of speaks for itself. If you were to meet me today you would never know I had cancer, I just look like anyone else with a short haircut. I have had one surgery back in May and 4-5 small "procedures" over the past 2-3 months as well. My next surgery will be sometime in October but I am not sure of the exact date yet. This will be that last big surgery I have and will only have 2 more small "touch ups" to do early in 2015. I am really looking forward to it all being behind me and I don't have the next thing to plan for.

For those of you who don't know, I am walking in the Avon walk for Breast Cancer this year in Santa Barbara with a few of my family members. We will be walking 39.9 miles over 2 days in and around Santa Barbara and ending in Carpenteria the first weekend of September. My mom and I did this walk 16 years ago when it was 75 miles over 3 days but this year is going to be a totally different experience for me. I know it is going to be a very emotional weekend and I am a little anxious about it but am so happy I will be surrounded by so much love and support from my family. So far our team has raised over $9000 but we need to get to $14,000 before the walk. If you want to help please go to this link below to donate directly.

http://info.avonfoundation.org/site/TR/Walk/LosAngeles?px=7472735&pg=personal&fr_id=2365
Thank you to all that have already donated and supported me and my team. I will update you right before the walk and the day after as well to let you all know how it was. I am looking forward to a GREAT weekend for sure!!
As always, thank you for all the love and support!