No Chemo today.

I went in for my blood draw yesterday and found out my white count was up but only to 2.5.  That was good but when I went in for my chemo appointment today the doctor would not let me do my treatment because it was below 3.  I was so mad!!!!  I don't want to postpone this process at all.  I was planning on asking to change my chemo day to Monday with the change in meds only because Christmas day and New Years day fall on Wednesdays and I wanted to deal with it now rather than juggle days later.  So in the long run it won't push out the treatments at all because I will be on track once my new "cocktail" starts.  The longer out from treatment the better I feel and side effects begin to lessen.  I didn't sleep well last night, never do the day before I go in, and now I just feel like all the stress is pushed out.  I have to go back in on Sunday to see where my white count is just to make sure that Monday is a go.  

This time last week I was having the feelings again of wanting to quit, throw in the towel and just stop. I hate how so much of this is out of my control and how truly crappy I feel.  I feel a little bit better this week having a new focus in my nutrition and really taking control of something with all the the juicing and supplements and being hopeful that it is making a difference.  I am really trying to focus on the positive and know that all will be okay and focus on what I can control.  Peter and I try to take Cooper out for a walk every night and it is really good for me to get out and get some exercise.  More than that it is just a really good opportunity for Peter and I to talk and just have time for us and it is my favorite part of the day.  

Looking on the positive side, with not having treatment today that means that I will feel good for Halloween and the weekend full of games.  I have to put things out there to look forward to, things that are fun and take my mind off of what I am having to deal with.  I have been enjoying Downton Abby (thanks Gina) and just started season 2.  We are carving our pumpkins tonight and the twins don't have school tomorrow or Friday so maybe we can do something fun.  I hope you all have a great Halloween, I will keep you posted on the white blood cell count and as always thanks so much for all the love and support!

Some days I wonder....

Some days I wonder what else could be coming.  Over the past few days my feet have been hurting, like when you get a pedicure and they work the calluses just a little bit too much.  Yesterday it got to the point where walking was very painful.  After doing some research we found out that one of the meds in my cocktail causes something called hand/foot syndrome.  Sometimes I think I am making this stuff up and then Peter does some research and it turns out it is another side effect. It's not in my head and it is a real thing.  It is just another reminder that chemo really is poison and it is so hard on your body.

I have to take a handful of pills for the first 4 days after treatment and then I take additional vitamins. I also started taking some additional supplements to help with my white blood count.  Some days I take over 25 pills and it can get a little crazy how long it takes me to take them.  Have I mentioned I HATE taking pills and I am terrible at remembering to take them.  I have them beautifully displayed on my counter just so I don't forget.  I am hopeful that the new supplements will help the white blood cell count.  I go in on Tuesday for another blood draw and will get the results on Wednesday.  I have been feeling better the past few days and have not had a blackout since my visit to the ER.  My temperature also seems to have come back in line as well and I have not had any spikes which is a good thing.

I had the opportunity to go to church today, the doctor really does not like me to be indoors with a lot of people so she would rather I didn't go especially with my white count so low.  My oldest was speaking in Sacrament and I didn't want to miss it.  He had worked on his talk all week and thanks to a great friend, he was ready to go.  I was so proud of him and loved what he had written.  It was so nice to see all the familiar faces and thank them in person for all of prayers, love and support.  I continue to be overwhelmed with all of the love and support from so many.

I have treatment in 3 days, it is my LAST Kool-Aid cocktail and I couldn't be happier about it but on the other hand I am a little scared too.  With this last treatment my cocktail will change to every week and the meds change as well.  I can only hope that the new cocktail, that will start the second week of November, is not as toxic and my side effects are not as bad.  Thanks again for all the love and support!

And the hits just keep on coming!

I knew I was having bad days and I didn't know why.  I had a bit of a fever on Tuesday night but took Tylenol and it seemed to break it.  When I got up yesterday and stood for the first time everything went black and I had to sit down right away.  As the morning went on it was much of the same every time I would walk more than a few steps I would get very dizzy and light headed.  I called the doctor and talked to her and she said to go to the ER.  I spent 6 hours in the ER on meds and fluids and they took a ton of blood to run tests.  I learned more about white blood cells than I thought I ever would.  Normal white blood cell counts are 5-10, when they tested mine I was at 1.  This was good and bad, bad because it is so low but good that it didn't get down to 0.5, at that level they automatically admit you to the hospital.  Since my count was 1 I had a choice of either staying in the hospital and being monitored there or going home taking meds and resting.  Going home was my only option!  The least amount of time in the hospital the better for me!

I have heard that when you are taking chemo treatments its not if its when will you spend time in the hospital and I'm really trying for that not to happen.  People go into the hospital and get stuck there for weeks and I don't want that to happen to me!  Peter has been doing research on what helps to build white blood cells, in addition to the meds I am taking I need to start changing my diet and taking supplements that can help that process.  With that and rest I am hopeful when I go back for blood work next week my count has gone up.  It has been a gradual decline throughout my treatment, my first test was 3.8 then 3 now 1.  I can only hope that it goes up because I can't afford for it go much lower.

I am starting to hate the walls of my house but really don't want to go out much at all.  Every time I walk outside my energy seems to drop and I get so tired.  That and it takes so much energy to "get ready" to go out.  Even though without hair it has cut down my primp time I still get so tired.  I have been trying to sit outside during the day to get some fresh air and see the sun.  I am glad that the weather is a bit cooler so my beans don't look so out of place.  They even say it may rain next week which would be such a nice change.

I really worry about putting stress on my kids sometimes so I try not to talk about when I have to go to the doctor unexpectedly.  Yesterday I had an appointment for a dressing change so it was normal that I was not home when they got home from school but we didn't get home until after 5 so that was a little strange.  I don't want them to worry about me more than they already are and me having to go to the ER I think they stress out about it, especially my oldest.  They are all so good about taking care of me and making sure I have everything I need and letting me rest when I need to.  I just want them to be able to be kids and not have this hanging over their heads.

Here's to today being a better day and my white blood cells making a jump!   Love to you all and thank you so much for all the love and support!

Bad days...

Today is a horrible day!  I have been feeling pretty crumby the past couple of days and today I just feel like crap!  I thought it was just because I was trying to do to too much so today I decided to just lay low.  I actually canceled all of my visitors I was suppose to have today so I could rest.  I have been on the couch all day sleeping on and off.  My head has been killing me and my temperature has been a little on the high side at 99.3.  I am suppose to go to the ER if my temp gets above 100.4.  I have only taken Tylenol today to help with the headache but it has not done much for me.  I don't have much of an appetite and smells are starting to bother me as well.  I am just trying to drink as much water as I can but the taste is so bad it makes it very hard.

I just feel like all I want to do is sleep but then I think that makes me feel worse because I'm not doing anything.  As some of you know I am a BIG couponer and I really wanted to get my list together so Johnna could go shopping for me tomorrow.  She is still coming up one a week to help me with whatever I need and is always a huge help!!!  I know she laughs at me but my goal to always save at least 65% or more on each shopping trip, the most I have saved was 76%.  I am hopeful that I get some kind of second wind and can pull it together before she gets here.

I hate days like this, when I feel so sick and out of it.  I feel like I have cancer and I can't do a damn thing about it!  My body is hurting, my mouth is so sore, my head is pounding and all that seems to help is sleep.  I hate to whine like this and I feel like such a loser, I hate complaining because I know that things could be so much worse.  I know there are people fighting harder than I am and they have a much tougher road to hoe.  Makes me feel guilty even talking about it really, I just need to suck it up!  If I don't feel better tomorrow I'm going to have to call the doctor to figure out if this is normal.  She said that the first treatment should be a good indication of how the rest of my treatments should go but I feel so much worse than I did the first time around and I don't know if that is normal.

I hate to be so negative but it is what it is and I have to deal with the bad days as much as I get to deal with the good days.  I hate bad days!  I just hope there are not many more of them!

Nausea..

Nausea, its a funny thing, well not really but when you think about it, it is just strange.  When I first found out I had breast cancer I threw up.  I think it was a combination of fear, shock and complete disbelief.  I didn't know what to do or feel and that was the first thing that came to me.  Now I fight everyday not to throw up.  I take my meds and drink as much water as I can but it still creeps in.  I don't think there is a more unpleasant felling then knowing it is coming or actually doing it.  I really hope with my next cocktail this feeling goes away.  The worst days are day 5-7 after my treatment.  Tea seems to help a lot and thanks to my friends and family I have enough tea for the long hall and a collection of my favorite mugs to transport me during the day to a far off place.  It is kind of ironic that I can't taste anything but yet still get nausea, wouldn't you think it would be something you ate that would give you an upset stomach?

I still think I can do anything and can keep my normal activities but quickly find out that is not the case.  We had 2 soccer games and 2 football games yesterday and then went to the Kings game with some good friends (thanks Millers!).  I ended up taking 2 naps between all the games and headed out to the Staples Center.  We didn't stay till the end, I just get so tired it is so annoying!  I feel like I am 100.  When I first started going to the oncology department at the hospital it was a little unnerving, okay a lot!  Everyone looked 100 and it felt like a morgue!  Now I know why even the smallest activity is so taxing.  I am so looking forward to the holidays coming up but at the same time it makes me nervous because I don't want anything to be different for the kids or for me.  I so love the fall and Thanksgiving and of course Christmas it is always such a fun time.  I so look forward to all the cooking but something about not being able to taste any of it does not sound like fun at all!

The newest fun nugget of side effects is numbness, my mouth still gets sore at about day 5 and gradually gets worse until day 10 but now my lips are starting to get tingly and numb as well, mostly in the morning.  My finger seems to be getting better although the cut is taking forever to heal the swelling has gone down and the redness is almost gone.  I am getting better with my lack of hair, I have a favorite thin bean that I wear all the time and my head is not as sensitive as it was.  I am even able to go to bed without a bean but have to keep one close because by 4am my head gets pretty cold.  I would like it a bit more if the weather would cooperate a bit because the heat does not go with my outfit!

As always thank you for all the love and support!  I received the most beautiful flower arrangements this week that really brightened my week!  Thanks so much.... thank you notes are on the way, I promise!

Good Room and positivity!!!

It is so funny (and I LOVED IT) how many of you reached out to me to see if I got the "good room"  and I did. But I had to have a bed instead of a chair, but still the good room!!!!  I was lucky enough to have my BFF with me for the whole treatment so we could chat and watch a movie.  It is so nice to have someone there to talk with, it really makes the time go by fast and to feel normal while they pump the poison into me.  I also had the pleasure of sitting next to an AMAZING woman Lori.  She has been through a lot and still has a lot to deal with but is handling it all like a CHAMP and is such an inspiration to anyone who crosses her path especially me!

It made me try to think of all the positives that come along with having breast cancer.  I don't have to wear a bra and for those of you who know me that is something I NEVER did before. I couldn't, it would have been offensive.  Having no hair really cuts down on my time in the morning, I can get up, be showered and out of the house in less than 30 minutes.  I don't have to shave my legs anymore, at least for the next 4 months. It really is nice!  I have to come up with something positive in this whole process otherwise it would make for a long journey, right!

Today was a good day, Thursdays are always good for the most part. Friday is my hardest day next to the day of treatment.  I had a dear friend and college roommate fly in from Texas to visit me and it was great to see her.  We went to lunch and I took her to Lombardi's to get all of the pumpkins for my porch.  I so love the fall, it is my favorite time of the year and I love to decorate. It is the only time of the year you can put decorations up in early October and leave them up for almost 8 weeks.  You really get a lot out of it.  I am still waiting for the cold snap to come and stay.  The beanies have been okay but it has been a little warm and it is a little strange to have shorts, t-shirt, flip flops and a beanie... LOL.

Tomorrow I plan on resting most of the day and just taking it easy.  For some reason most Friday's are really hard, the one right after treatment brings nausea and a lot of fatigue.  The the second Friday is the worst day for my mouth pain.  Last week was so bad I couldn't talk and I am not looking forward to that at all, although some people may be.  This blog really has been so good for me and it's so amazing how many people from all over the world have been reading it.  Thank you for forwarding it on, posting it to your  FB pages and just supporting me.  We have over 6000 hits to the page and it has been viewed in 15 different countries.

Love to you all!!!

Some people are unreal!!!!

I had the most annoying encounter today and I don't think anyone would believe me but my mom was with me and couldn't believe her ears as well.  We were at the grocery store and this guy behind us in line suddenly asked me "what's your PIC line for"  I simply answered "cancer".  He then goes on to ask me a few questions about the meds and I just told him it was for breast cancer and tried to go on about my business.  He then asked if it was in my lymph nodes and I just said "no, we got lucky".  The next thing he said was so unbelievable and unreal it almost took my breath away.  He then said "Oh, it will get there."  ARE YOU KIDDING ME!!!!  Who do you think you are?!?!?!?!  I could not believe it.  I almost didn't know what to say, I told him no, I don't think so, I got this.  Then paid and got the hell out of there!!! As I was leaving he said to me "it's beatable though".  I felt like punching him in his face!  It is amazing to me how brazen people can be.  I didn't know him, he didn't know me but felt it was his business to voice his opinion like that!  UGH!!! Such and ASS!!!!

On the other end of the spectrum, I have to say thank you to all of you!!!! Thank you for all the love and support in your comments, emails, text, FB posts and messages.  It is amazing to me, all the kind words and encouragement I have received, so overwhelming!  It truly is unbelievable to me every time I open my computer to see how many people take the time to reach out just to let me know they are there and they are following my blog and have been thinking about me.  THANK YOU!!!


Today was a good day (other than the grocery store incident).  My mom and I were able to get a lot done around the house, okay she did most of the work and I took a nap.  I had a great lunch with great friends and got a chance to catch up after being gone last week and missing my weekly visit.  We were able to plan a fun outing for next summer once all of this is behind me!  It is so nice to plan future events so I have something to look forward to.  I can't wait to not have all of this hanging over me and just can "BE".  I do see a busy evening of baking and eating tonight since Johnna has been shopping for the past hour, I can't wait to see what pumpkin and fall yumminess she comes up with tonight.

Tomorrow will be treatment #3 (13 more to go) and I wonder how it will go, I always feel the best right before treatment.  Tuesday night is always hard because I know what is coming and hate to think about it.  Tomorrow will bring sluggishness, yucky tastes, cold rooms and sleeping.  I think the worst part is the shots I have to take beginning the Friday after treatment everyday for a week.  I think that is what causes my mouth to hurt so much.  Last time around was so bad it got to the point where I couldn't even talk.

Think happy thoughts for tomorrow, love you all and cross your fingers I get the "good room"!

Back to reality

We have been home for 3 days and I am feeling "normal" again.  Just in time to go in for another Chemo treatment the day after tomorrow.  I had to go in to the doc today because I got a cut on my finger and it is infected.  Since my immune system is shot right now the doc wants to keep an eye on it and started antibiotics.  It is very sore, swollen and red.

Getting ready for another Chemo day is never fun.  I seem to forget very fast how I feel and how the next few days go.  You would think I would write it down day by day since I have to do this so many times.  It is almost like if I don't talk about it, it will go away and I will wake up from this bad dream soon.  I still have not found the perfect food to get rid of the bad taste during treatment.  They have done the meds in a different order each time so far and I don't know if that makes a big difference.  Honestly the thing I think about the most going into treatment is if I will get the "good" room.  There are 2 rooms for treatment a huge one with 20+ chairs and 2 beds, then there is a small room with 2 chairs and 2 beds.  I like the small room, it is not a busy, not as many people, it's quiet and I don't have as many eyes on me. They say that you can't have visitors during treatment but I have been able to each time so far and that has been good.  This week I may go solo, I have a lot of shows to get caught up on.

On a positive note we are going to the Dodger game tonight and they better WIN!!!  I am really looking forward to going, I'll be the one in the Dodger bean if your there.  GO BLUE!!!!

Stages of grief... anger stage

They say there are stages of grief and I think I have hit the anger stage.  I seem to be angry a lot, angry at the fact that I have no hair, angry that I feel so sluggish, angry that I have to wear a sleeve EVERY TIME I shower, angry that I have a tube sticking out of my arm, angry that I have no boobs, angry that I can't sleep at night, angry that I can't taste ANYTHING I eat, angry that I can't workout, angry that.... Just angry!  I had a dream the other day that I just said enough, I'm done with Chemo!  I don't want to do this anymore.  I don't want to sit and have poison pumped into me, poison so strong you can only have it done 4 times in your lifetime and I am getting all 4 treatments done in 8 weeks.  I am only 2 treatments in and still have 14 to go, this is not good!  I was so mad the whole drive home from Utah.  We had to leave 2 days early because I was feeling so bad!  I couldn't even focus enough to do an update.  I HATE THIS AND I AM ANGRY ABOUT IT!!!!!

We were having a good time and I just thought that I was tired but it was much more than that.  I couldn't even walk across the room without feeling like I was going to pass out.  The altitude was really effecting me and I never even thought that would be an issue.  I went to get my dressing changed and the doctor there confirmed what I thought it was, the altitude and it was not good.  My oxygen level was low but not alarming and my blood pressure was a little low but I always have low blood pressure.  I had to get out of there.  We were able to do most of all we had planned, horseback riding, apple picking, shopping, visiting the U, spending time with family and just hanging out.  The leaves were all changing and it was beautiful!  What we were not able to do is the one thing we were there for, the football game.  WOW what a game!!!  I love it when Utah does what no one thinks they can.

Now that I am home I am feeling better everyday  I am can breathe easier and am not getting dizzy but am still tired.  I have been a little more worried about my hair, or lack of hair now that I am back to reality.  I did go to all the kids games today and wore my beanie. Next week could be tough because it is suppose to be 85 degrees plus and I don't think I could go without a bean.  I am getting better at not wearing a bean in the house but it is still very sensitive.  My hair is still really patchy but seems to still be coming out and I'm sure will be totally bald soon.  I now it is going to be this way for the next 5 months or so but I don't think I will ever get used to it.  I know for sure I will never like it.

I hope you all are well and as always love to you all!

Both tears but some laughs as well

It has been a little more than 12 hours since I decided to shave my head.  It had gotten to the point where every time I touched it so much of it was falling out and actually I didn't have that much to shave because so much of it I was able, along with my kids, to just run my fingers through and it would come out.  One thing that I did learn is that I had A TON OF HAIR!!!  It was crazy it just kept coming out and never seemed to end.  I really didn't know how or what I was doing and I am so thankful for my amazing husband, who helped me so much.  He took pictures when I asked, he held me when I cried and he laughed with me all at the right times.  The kids were not around when we did the actual shaving but knew it was going to happen last night.  I wanted to include them in some of it but didn't think it would be good for them to be around for all of it.   I am bald!!!  I don't think I realize it yet and that I will still catch glimpses of myself in the mirror and wonder who that is.  I have not seen anyone outside my own family yet so the next few days should be interesting.  I wonder how many people will look and me now with "those looks" of oh she must have cancer.... ugh!

I am doing okay, my head is very sensitive and it hurts to touch.  I have not washed it yet, that will come today, I thought I would let it rest for a bit.  I have had a bean on almost all of the time since, because it is so cold and it hurts if anything touches it.  As long as a bean is on I seem to be okay.  We even ventured out last night in the crisp Park City air and it was not that bad.  I slept all night in the

softest bean I brought (thanks Kim) and I slept some.  I woke up at about 6:30 and couldn't fall back asleep so here I am.  I didn't cry as much as I thought I would I guess my attitude is more of just matter of fact, that I have to do this and it is all just part of the process.  I'm not the first woman to have to do this and unfortunately I won't be the last.  I will say that it being October the whole Pink thing is making me a little crazy... I have never been a pink girl and it is EVERYWHERE!!!!!  My oldest told me that he thinks if you have breast cancer and it is the month of October you should get a discount on anything that is pink...

The trip up was fine, I was tired and didn't sleep as much as I thought I would.  The leaves are all changing and it is so beautiful!  I love this time of year it is my favorite, just being in Park City makes me so happy.  We have lots of things planned and I hope to be able to do most of them.  The twins are most excited about the horseback riding trip but I think all of us are looking forward to the football game the most.

I hope you all are well and as always thank you so much for all of the positivity and love!!!!

I'm off...

Well in more than one way I am off.  I am leaving for our trip today so my next few posts will be from the road but I wanted to get one more off before I left and this will be a quick one.  I also have come to the realization that when I get home I will have lost all of my hair.  It is coming out like crazy now and I'm sure it will be gone by Monday.  I am working on lining up a place that I can go to while we are in Utah to get it "taken care of".  It is still only coming out like it is thinning and not in big clumps but with all of this wind it is just coming out like crazy!  I have not washed it and used the dry shampoo but just to touch it makes it come out.  I'm still doing okay with it but don't know how I will react once it is all gone....

I wanted to add a picture of me with hair so you can remember that I did have long fun curls and they will be back in a year or two, I hope.  I know this is a short post but I wanted to let you all know not to freak out if you see me when I get back as well as to write it down so I can start to process this.

I have been feeling pretty good and trying to rest.  I plan on sleeping most of the way today and I was able to find a place at a cancer center by the "U" to get my pic dressing changed so my doctor was happy with that so I am all cleared and ready to go.  I am really looking forward to the trip and just relaxing.

I hope you all are well and not getting too blown away with all of this wind.  Stay safe and love to you all!

Need to remember

I think I am doing this blog more for my own benefit than anything else.  It helps me to fill my time, document my feelings, track how I feel after treatment and just to share my story with others.  I have heard so many times since I started this of how positive and upbeat I am and how I am inspiring people everywhere (that's weird to me that people get that from me).  I really don't know of any other way, it is just how I am.  It is kind of nice to know so many people are reading what I put out there though.  As of this morning I have had almost 3000 hits in a week, SO CRAZY!!!!  Makes me a little uncomfortable though because every time I go back and read it I ALWAYS find a typo... So sorry about that.  I have always said writing was not my strength and spelling is just not in my wheel house.  I know a lot of the people who read this are in it to support me, when you all share it with others I know it is reaching someone who needs to see it.  I also know there is a small group who just read it to be nosey and thats okay I don't worry about it and focus on the positive!

Speaking of positive, this video was sent to me the other day and I love it!!!!  I love her energy and love this song too.  I hope you all enjoy it as much as I did!!!!
                                                            http://youtu.be/BaQdwTsVtCY     

My treatment went well yesterday I left home around 7:30 and got home around 2.  I was able to sleep/rest most of the day in huge part to my amazing husband and sister-in-law who ran all 3 kids to all of their practices, my friends of course who dropped off "goodie bags" to take to treatment and the unwaivering and never-ending support of my church.  They show up with dinner 3 times a week (along with all of my girlfriends who do it the other 3 days a week), in addition they show up 2 days a week to help the twins with their homework which is a HUGE help because I just can't focus very long anymore and there is a reason I was not a teacher!!!  I know I have said this before but please bare with me on my thank you notes... they are coming but I am behind a bit.  I am a big thank you writer so this is driving me nuts that I have so many still to write.  I know a stupid thing to worry about but I do.

Treatment, like I said it went well.  My oncologyst said that the first treatment is a good indicator of how the rest will go so I was very happy with that since after about 4 days I start to feel better as each day goes by.  This "cocktail" will go for another month (2 more treatments) then I switch to another mix which will be EVERY week, so at least I think I know what the next month will be, because I have a lot planned.  We are leaving for Utah soon, going to the Ellen show (I think) and planting my bulbs with my kids in the front yard, this is kind of a big deal with the twins because they always pop up around their birthday.  The Kool-aid as I call is still weird to watch going in because I think I should fell it more, it did make me dizzy this time around and when I told the nurse they all started freaking out so I guess that is a big deal as a side effect.  I guess I better key into that a little more and share with the doctors how I am feeling.

My hair is still falling out every time I run my fingers through it so I try not to do that much.  You still can't tell, I think.  I am coming to the realization that I am going to have to divide when the time is right to dive in and just cut it off.  It still hurts and I know it will stop hurting once it is gone but I'm not ready for it to be gone.... will I ever be?  This picture is one hand running through my hair and it happens every time.  I used to losing hair all the time but never this much and so often.  I don't even want to touch it and forget about washing it.  Maybe I will try one of those dry shampoos.

I hope this post finds you all well!  Thanks for all the text, calls, emails FB posts and feedback on this blog!

It has begun....

Well today was the day.  I have been saying for the past few days it's like waiting for a punch in the face.  You know it's coming and you know it is going to SUCK!!!!!  You just don't know when it is going to happen.  My hair has started to fall out.  It is not coming in chunks like I thought it would, it is more just from all over.  I got up this morning and all was fine, went downstairs to get the kids off to school and ran my fingers through my hair.....  came out with a handful of hair so I knew something was up.  I took a shower and washed my hair, if you remember I mentioned I thought it could be the last time I did that.  Since I have curly hair I don't ever brush it, I use my fingers as my brush so when I wash it I run my fingers through it a lot.  Needless to say they were dropping like flies.

I am doing okay with it so far, if I didn't tell you, you wouldn't even know I was losing it.  I did my hair as usual and I can tell a difference but I have so much hair no one else can tell.  But please if you see me out and about please, please, please tell me if you notice it.... I could be in denial and not even see the huge spot in the back. LOL..

I have received so many beanies from so many people it is amazing!  I love them all.  I have to get in the habit now of adding one to my outfit everyday.  When I got dressed this morning I laid them all out and thought which one would I wear if I needed to.  I look at it as a new opportunity to accessorize, because as Miranda Lambert says "it doesn't matter what your feel like it only matters how you look."

Tomorrow is my next treatment and I think I am as nervous as I was for the first one.  I just hope that the effects don't compound and I can count on the same few days after and how I will feel.  I know I will sleep when I get home and Thursday is a down day but Friday is the worst day, so I just need to plan for that.  I will keep you posted on how I am doing and hopefully feel up to doing another most on Thursday.