Both tears but some laughs as well

It has been a little more than 12 hours since I decided to shave my head.  It had gotten to the point where every time I touched it so much of it was falling out and actually I didn't have that much to shave because so much of it I was able, along with my kids, to just run my fingers through and it would come out.  One thing that I did learn is that I had A TON OF HAIR!!!  It was crazy it just kept coming out and never seemed to end.  I really didn't know how or what I was doing and I am so thankful for my amazing husband, who helped me so much.  He took pictures when I asked, he held me when I cried and he laughed with me all at the right times.  The kids were not around when we did the actual shaving but knew it was going to happen last night.  I wanted to include them in some of it but didn't think it would be good for them to be around for all of it.   I am bald!!!  I don't think I realize it yet and that I will still catch glimpses of myself in the mirror and wonder who that is.  I have not seen anyone outside my own family yet so the next few days should be interesting.  I wonder how many people will look and me now with "those looks" of oh she must have cancer.... ugh!

I am doing okay, my head is very sensitive and it hurts to touch.  I have not washed it yet, that will come today, I thought I would let it rest for a bit.  I have had a bean on almost all of the time since, because it is so cold and it hurts if anything touches it.  As long as a bean is on I seem to be okay.  We even ventured out last night in the crisp Park City air and it was not that bad.  I slept all night in the

softest bean I brought (thanks Kim) and I slept some.  I woke up at about 6:30 and couldn't fall back asleep so here I am.  I didn't cry as much as I thought I would I guess my attitude is more of just matter of fact, that I have to do this and it is all just part of the process.  I'm not the first woman to have to do this and unfortunately I won't be the last.  I will say that it being October the whole Pink thing is making me a little crazy... I have never been a pink girl and it is EVERYWHERE!!!!!  My oldest told me that he thinks if you have breast cancer and it is the month of October you should get a discount on anything that is pink...

The trip up was fine, I was tired and didn't sleep as much as I thought I would.  The leaves are all changing and it is so beautiful!  I love this time of year it is my favorite, just being in Park City makes me so happy.  We have lots of things planned and I hope to be able to do most of them.  The twins are most excited about the horseback riding trip but I think all of us are looking forward to the football game the most.

I hope you all are well and as always thank you so much for all of the positivity and love!!!!