No Chemo today.

I went in for my blood draw yesterday and found out my white count was up but only to 2.5.  That was good but when I went in for my chemo appointment today the doctor would not let me do my treatment because it was below 3.  I was so mad!!!!  I don't want to postpone this process at all.  I was planning on asking to change my chemo day to Monday with the change in meds only because Christmas day and New Years day fall on Wednesdays and I wanted to deal with it now rather than juggle days later.  So in the long run it won't push out the treatments at all because I will be on track once my new "cocktail" starts.  The longer out from treatment the better I feel and side effects begin to lessen.  I didn't sleep well last night, never do the day before I go in, and now I just feel like all the stress is pushed out.  I have to go back in on Sunday to see where my white count is just to make sure that Monday is a go.  

This time last week I was having the feelings again of wanting to quit, throw in the towel and just stop. I hate how so much of this is out of my control and how truly crappy I feel.  I feel a little bit better this week having a new focus in my nutrition and really taking control of something with all the the juicing and supplements and being hopeful that it is making a difference.  I am really trying to focus on the positive and know that all will be okay and focus on what I can control.  Peter and I try to take Cooper out for a walk every night and it is really good for me to get out and get some exercise.  More than that it is just a really good opportunity for Peter and I to talk and just have time for us and it is my favorite part of the day.  

Looking on the positive side, with not having treatment today that means that I will feel good for Halloween and the weekend full of games.  I have to put things out there to look forward to, things that are fun and take my mind off of what I am having to deal with.  I have been enjoying Downton Abby (thanks Gina) and just started season 2.  We are carving our pumpkins tonight and the twins don't have school tomorrow or Friday so maybe we can do something fun.  I hope you all have a great Halloween, I will keep you posted on the white blood cell count and as always thanks so much for all the love and support!