Need to remember

I think I am doing this blog more for my own benefit than anything else.  It helps me to fill my time, document my feelings, track how I feel after treatment and just to share my story with others.  I have heard so many times since I started this of how positive and upbeat I am and how I am inspiring people everywhere (that's weird to me that people get that from me).  I really don't know of any other way, it is just how I am.  It is kind of nice to know so many people are reading what I put out there though.  As of this morning I have had almost 3000 hits in a week, SO CRAZY!!!!  Makes me a little uncomfortable though because every time I go back and read it I ALWAYS find a typo... So sorry about that.  I have always said writing was not my strength and spelling is just not in my wheel house.  I know a lot of the people who read this are in it to support me, when you all share it with others I know it is reaching someone who needs to see it.  I also know there is a small group who just read it to be nosey and thats okay I don't worry about it and focus on the positive!

Speaking of positive, this video was sent to me the other day and I love it!!!!  I love her energy and love this song too.  I hope you all enjoy it as much as I did!!!!
                                                            http://youtu.be/BaQdwTsVtCY     

My treatment went well yesterday I left home around 7:30 and got home around 2.  I was able to sleep/rest most of the day in huge part to my amazing husband and sister-in-law who ran all 3 kids to all of their practices, my friends of course who dropped off "goodie bags" to take to treatment and the unwaivering and never-ending support of my church.  They show up with dinner 3 times a week (along with all of my girlfriends who do it the other 3 days a week), in addition they show up 2 days a week to help the twins with their homework which is a HUGE help because I just can't focus very long anymore and there is a reason I was not a teacher!!!  I know I have said this before but please bare with me on my thank you notes... they are coming but I am behind a bit.  I am a big thank you writer so this is driving me nuts that I have so many still to write.  I know a stupid thing to worry about but I do.

Treatment, like I said it went well.  My oncologyst said that the first treatment is a good indicator of how the rest will go so I was very happy with that since after about 4 days I start to feel better as each day goes by.  This "cocktail" will go for another month (2 more treatments) then I switch to another mix which will be EVERY week, so at least I think I know what the next month will be, because I have a lot planned.  We are leaving for Utah soon, going to the Ellen show (I think) and planting my bulbs with my kids in the front yard, this is kind of a big deal with the twins because they always pop up around their birthday.  The Kool-aid as I call is still weird to watch going in because I think I should fell it more, it did make me dizzy this time around and when I told the nurse they all started freaking out so I guess that is a big deal as a side effect.  I guess I better key into that a little more and share with the doctors how I am feeling.

My hair is still falling out every time I run my fingers through it so I try not to do that much.  You still can't tell, I think.  I am coming to the realization that I am going to have to divide when the time is right to dive in and just cut it off.  It still hurts and I know it will stop hurting once it is gone but I'm not ready for it to be gone.... will I ever be?  This picture is one hand running through my hair and it happens every time.  I used to losing hair all the time but never this much and so often.  I don't even want to touch it and forget about washing it.  Maybe I will try one of those dry shampoos.

I hope this post finds you all well!  Thanks for all the text, calls, emails FB posts and feedback on this blog!