Cherish everyday!

     So sorry it has been so long since my last post but I wanted to wait until I had the most information to share with you.  I went in for my appointment with my oncologist on Monday and we were given the worst news anyone could ever imagine.  I now not only have masses in my hip/femur, my lungs and my lymph nodes I have one on my spine as well which would explain my back pain.  The one on my back is not on the spinal cord but outside the spine on the vertebra.  Even though it is still considered breast cancer that has metastasized in multiple organs if I were to present today with what I have now it would be considered stage 4 terminal cancer.  As you know I am a very upbeat person and I really I am not worried about me at all.  I am not afraid or scared, all I am is worried about are our 3 kids.


     I am not done fighting and I am hopeful that I can prolong my time as much as possible and already have made contact at City of Hope as well as UCLA to start the process of getting in to any clinical trials for triple negative breast cancer.  I will fight with everything I have until the last second!  I started chemo on Monday but this type of chemo is in pill form which is kind of nice because I don't have to spend 8 hours at the hospital. I just need to take 3 pills twice a day for 6 weeks and then I will start another "cocktail" which most likely will be traditional chemo where I have to go in for an IV each week.  I may also have radiation treatment on my back and that could happen within the next 6 weeks depending on how I respond to this chemo treatment.

     In addition to the treatment plans for chemo and the radiation plans I am working with a pain management team.  This team helps me get the right mix of meds to fight the pain I am having which is always there and can get really bad at times.  The majority of my pain is in my back and my left hip, which would make sense because I have a mass in both of those areas.  I met with the pain team today and I think we have a good plan to begin with.  It is really a trial and error type approach and we will keep tweaking the combination of meds until we find what is going to work best for me.  As much as I hate taking pain meds I know they serve a purpose and if they are going to help me manage my pain so I can spend more time with my family and be as active as possible I am all for it.



     I got my staples taken out the Tuesday before Thanksgiving and it didn't hurt that bad.  Only a few really hurt, mostly it was the sound of the ones they took out by my ear.  The sound it made inside my head was just creepy.  The surgeon was happy with the way it looks and how it was healing and gave the go ahead for the radiation treatment next week.  My hair is starting to grow back and it looks like the scar will totally be hidden.  I think I am going to embrace the short hair and actually go and get a hair cut with a style as apposed to growing it out because I am probably going to lose it again with my chemo treatments.

     For now I am focusing on every minute of every day and being in the moment.  I have my Gamma Knife radiation treatment next Wednesday and I am looking forward to that being behind me.  I don't know why I have so much stress about it, I just do.  I have been decorating the house with my mom for Christmas and getting my Christmas shopping done.  I am looking forward to my annual trip to the Nordstrom customer appreciation night this weekend to get some more Christmas shopping done with some of my favorite people.  I had an amazing Thanksgiving with the biggest group we have ever had.... 47.  It was absolutely perfect!  Our kids had every cousin (except one) there and they all had so much fun.  We had 3 turkeys and a whole ham and  about 15 side dishes and it was all delicious.




     We also had our annual Ivy lunch and gift exchange.  We are on year 11 and this is when me, my mom, my Auntie Kathy, my cousin Erin and Kristy get together for a yummy lunch and we exchange gifts.  This year Lisa, Lauren, and Kristy's mom Jane were able to join us and we all had so much fun.  I love this tradition and look forward to it every year.  Not only do I always come home with an amazing gift but the food is so good and its fun to see if we can pick out and celebrities as well.  Most of all it is just great to be with family and laugh, gossip, get caught up and be together.



     The day after Thanksgiving we all went to the UCLA v. Stanford football game.  We had quite a crew at 15 and we had a great tailgate before the game.  Even though the wrong team won the game (not if you are our oldest son) it still was a great day and everyone had a great time.  Only in California can you have shorts and tank top weather the day after Thanksgiving.  The kids played with their cousins while all of the "adults" just sat and visited before the game.

This is still and forever will be the house of NO DOOM and GLOOM.  I have been an upbeat, positive person my entire life and this does not change anything.  like I said I am doing anything and everything to fight this to help prolong my time.  If you want to come visit please do just call/text Peter to make sure I don't have an appointment when you want to come or that I already have people over, you know how everyone loves me so much LOL!!!!!  The only rule I have is no tears, I understand that it is a difficult time but tears are something I am choosing not to spend time on and it is defiantly something my kids don't need to see.  I love you all and hope to see your smiling faces soon.