Well my second to last treatment was yesterday and they can't end soon enough. They seem to get longer every week and since the side effects compound as I go I sleep a lot more when I get home too. We got home around 4. It was pretty funny, I fell asleep for what felt like forever. When I woke up I was still in my clothes and it was dark outside. I looked at the clock and saw that it as 7:56 I panicked, Peter was not there so I thought he had left for work, the kids were in the loft in PJ's watching TV. I started yelling, telling Davis his class had already started and what was he doing. He calmly walked over to me and gave me a hug and said it was 8pm, not 8am. I had only slept for 4 hours. We both laughed and I went back to bed. 
I have started to get bloody noses almost everyday. The longest one has lasted 45 minutes and would not stop. I'm not talking a little drip, I'm talking a gushing mess! It is pretty gross and I think I am personally keeping Kleenex in business. I go through at least a box and a half a day. The doctor said that Chemo could cause them so we are going to wait until after my last treatment before going to the ENT doctors. I just hope it is not from anything else since I have had a runny nose for the last 5 months. I now sleep with a humidifier every night and stuff my nose with Carmex at least 3 times a day.I went to Lori's service on Saturday and it was one of the hardest things I have ever done in my life but I am so glad that I went. It was such a beautiful celebration, although I personally had a lot of tears. So much of here life and mine were alike and it was a bit like looking in the mirror. It made me think more and more how lucky and I am. and how it is a bit like winning the lottery of life. Their is no rhyme or reason to any of it, it truly is luck of the draw. I have so much anxiety over the next part of this journey. As most of you know, I am a bit of a control freak and a planner and with this type of cancer there really is no plan. There are no meds to take and they don't like to do a lot of scans because of all the radiation. So I have one scan to check the issue with my liver and then... thats it. I assume I will have a scan on an annual basis, but no mammograms because there really isn't anything there to check. I am really having a tough time with this because Lori had a clean bill of health to and then the other foot dropped and here world was turned upside down again! I find myself crying at least 3 times a day and it always hits at the most randoms times, so don't be shocked if I burst into tears in mid-sentence. My anxiety level is through the roof these days!!!
My next/last appointment is going to be filled with questions, much like they were in the beginning. I have developed a new pain above where my tumor was and I don't know if it's due to the anxiety, fear or is for real. I also am going to talk to her about my plan and hope to help myself feel more confidant about it. I am really looking forward to the treatments being over, but part of me is just uneasy about it. How will my life change not taking 20+ pills a day, not speeding 8+ hours at the hospital every week. I wonder when my hair will really start to grow back in and when I will feeling like working out again because I really miss it. I think I will start hiking again too. I just signed up for the Avon Breast cancer walk, my mom and I did it way back in 1998 and we had such a great time but this time will have a little bit of a different meaning.Thanks for listing and love to you all!!!!
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