Saturday, December 21, 2013

I love the holidays

Today was a great day!!!!  I am beginning to love Saturdays. they are becoming my best day, even better than Tuesdays.  I feel the most normal and not bouncing off the walls, not a lot of nausea or have the gloom of chemo the next day hanging over my head.  Today I was able to go shopping with my girl and just hang out.  We were busy doing last minute things for the holidays and just hanging out… it was great.

I am starting to get tired of the beanie look and feel.  When Avery and I were at lunch today I even took it off and was BALD for the entire lunch.  It is a little freeing and a little un-nerving at the same time.  When I am with the kids and take the bean off I tell the kids to look around and see if anyone is staring at me because I feel like EVERYONE is.  I just get a little tired of always wearing something on my head and I know I will never wear a wig, it's just not me.  It's so funny sometimes when I go out in the real world and see people I know…. they don't know me.  My hair was such a part of "my look" they have no idea who I am.  Peter and I went out to dinner last night and saw a few people and it took them a minute to recognize me.  I totally get it but it is just funny to have to reintroduce yourself sometimes.  It makes me laugh to think of what they would think if I was just out there, bald and beautiful!  As Kyle just said, "mom, you look better than me, and I look pretty good."

So since I didn't post anything after my last treatment I will get you caught up.  I had another reaction, although I am getting much better at recognizing them so it didn't get too far.  They still had to push the hydrocortisone and stop the meds but at least my heart rate and blood pressure stopped shy of through the roof.  It is kind of a mystery as to why I still am having reactions to the chemo. They have slowed it down so much which makes my days so long but I still am having a tough time.  The nausea is still really bad, half of Wednesday, Thursday and Friday are the worst.  I really don't want to take additional meds because they all come with their own set of side effects but I don't know if 7 more weeks of this is something I want to deal with either.

Sleeping has become a bit of a luxury these days.  I seem to take a nap a few days a week for an hour or so but as far as sleeping through the night, I can't remember the last time I did that.  Other than Monday and Tuesday nights I tend to fall asleep around 11 and wake up around 2.  Sometimes I fall asleep again around 3 but by 5:30 I am up for the day.  It is like a little game I play with myself and try and guess what time it is before I look at the clock.

Well I don't know if I will get another post in before Christmas so just in case, I hope you have a very happy holiday with your friends and family!  I want each of you to know how much you mean to me and how thankful I am to have you in my life!  As I have said before I have been and continue to be overwhelmed with the amount of love and support I feel everyday.  I truly feel the prayers and love you have sent my way and I don't know how to thank you enough!  I truly hope you have a very Merry Christmas!




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